Here at Beauty I AM we talk about “true beauty” a lot. It is a difficult phrase to define. I feel like once I have the concept mastered life throws me a new lesson causing me to extend the definition I once applied to the phrase “true beauty.”


A simple phrase most are familiar with, yet many fail to apply the meaning of it to their life and their perspective of self worth. I blame this on true beauty’s biggest rival, “self-hatred.”  This is the unspoken phrase we don’t talk about until it rears its ugly head in the life of a woman struggling with an eating disorder, self-harm, or drug addiction, but self-hatred is sneaky and it starts very young. It starts before the negative symptoms surface because it starts in the heart, reaches the mind, and then manifest through your actions. It teaches us to accept lies and develop overly critical minds towards ourselves.  It first plants negative thoughts in your heart and then your mind. Once it has planted the seeds of destruction it will leave you to water the seeds on your own. You will do so by allowing your critical thoughts to run wild and then accepting them as reality. Self-hatred can then wipe it’s hands clean and and trust that you will continue to self destruct on your own. 


Don’t worry! Regardless of how how high the weeds have grown within your heart there is still time to tear them down by renewing your mind.  Changing your THOUGHTS will change the outcome of your produce. This is what I call finding the “real you.” which is often buried underneath the mess you see on the surface. This is the very reason Beauty I AM exist. Our purpose is to help women search deep within themselves to discover who they are and what they have to offer the world. We help them go beyond the pretty exterior and come face to face with the woman they know they they were meant to be.  The woman that existed before the lies of self-hatred began choking the very life out of their life and their careers.


If we allow self-hatred to open the door to self destruction in our life we completely loose sight of the dreams that were once bubbling over inside of us.  Once these dreams begin to die off it will leave you feeling disappointed maybe even depressed. When we loose sight of our purpose we loose sight of who we are!


You must change the way you look at yourself in the mirror so that you can change the direction your life is headed. You do not want to live a life that stems from your critical perceptions of yourself. NEVER accomplishing your goals, because you are not capable. NEVER entering a relationship, because you are too broken or not pretty enough. NEVER voicing your thoughts, because you are afraid. NEVER taking a risk, because you might fail.


Your life will display your thoughts over time unless you choose to reprogram your mind.  This is why you must go beyond your exterior and the wall of perfectionism you try to present to the world and be honest about what is going on internally. It is important for you to know you were born with purpose and everything you need to fulfill your purpose is already inside of you. It may need to be developed and it may take time, but that is not a reason to judge yourself based upon whether it is or is not possible for you to fulfill. It is your job to protect your purpose, feed your purpose with healthy thoughts, and then boldly live your purpose without SELF-HATRED anywhere in sight.


This is the true beauty which exist inside of you. It is what sets you apart from others. Serena Williams was clearly made to play tennis, Celine was crafted to sing, and Gabby Douglas was born to compete at the Olympics.  You can’t deny their talents, but it was their inner beauty which drove them to complete what they were created to do.  It was their willingness to by-pass negative thoughts trying to rob them of the outcome of their life and their dreams.  It was their willingness to do what they knew they were made to do no matter what. Achieving their purpose took years of practice and years of not being the best. I can guarantee SELF-HATRED knocked at their door, but they made a choice to ignore the nagging voice so they could live their dreams and fulfill their purpose.

Decide for yourself… TODAY IS THE DAY I WILL END THIS WAR. Refuse to let self-hatred have any control over your mind. Reprogram your mind by speaking kind loving words over yourself. For an example, if you are frustrated because you keep failing, remind yourself failure is an opportunity to grow not quit. Show yourself grace and give yourself time to come up with a new strategy. If you fail again… repeat the same process all over again.


Self-hatred does not have to control your life you can learn to love yourself, affirm yourself, and choose to be committed to always evolving as a person. There will always be new ways to grow your character, your skills, and your communication skills with others. There will always be moments of failure and someone will always have an opinion of how to manage your life and career better. Instead of allowing these bumps in life to breed more critical thoughts… take it as a golden opportunity to water the right seeds and tear down the weeds that do not belong.